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Friday, September 13, 2013

Whirlwind of Confusion



If you read my last fertility post (found here), then you know that I was completely under the impression that I would be getting my monthly visitor once again, instead of a baby this month. I came to this conclusion because:
  1. I had what I call “pre-period” cramps.   
  2. I am almost never late and I was experiencing said symptoms.
Well here we are, a week later and still no period. Don’t get too excited! There is more to this story than meets the eye. 

You can imagine my surprise when after my last post, all cramping stopped and I began to manifest pregnancy symptoms. I was feeling nausea's, was hard of breathing, and had back and side pains (which I looked up to confirm were indeed pregnancy symptoms). I began to think to myself: ‘Self, maybe you were premature in writing that last post, maybe it was too early to be thinking you weren’t preggers, maybe this is it-for reals this time!’ With all signs of surfing out the door, I began feeling more and more anxious and excited every day that my period didn’t come. When I reached the one week mark or lateness, we bought a pregnancy test! I couldn’t wait to take it as I was sure that this time, it would read positive. Everything pointed to it. I took the test that night and my Husband and I have never felt our hearts beating faster as we waited in anticipation. When time was up, and we checked the results we found that it read…negative.  

Huh?!

How could this be? I immediately felt myself sink into a little mini depression again and we were both crushed. In my Husbands own words, “I thought I was going to be a Father, until some little stick told me I wasn’t.” The next morning I began to research why I got a negative result but still didn’t have a period. There were various senarios offered in a very helpful website (found here), one of which being that some women have varying HCG levels (the hormone that detects pregnancy), and it gave me instructions to test in the mornings. We waited a few more days to see if my monthly visitor would show up, and I even felt some more pre-cramps that made me feel like it was coming. But by this morning those had ceased and I took the test again. Results…

Negative.

Confusion and tears flooded over me all morning. Fears began to rise as well. Is there something wrong with me? What’s going on with my body? Where’s my period if I’m not pregnant? I have never been this late on a period, and with all the fertility concerns associated with my recent endometriosis problems, one of the things that has kept me hopeful that I’m healthy has been the consistency of my periods. Now that that isn't the case this month, I just want answers. Unfortunately, due to some timing issues, we haven’t yet been able to pay for health insurance this semester yet, so we haven’t been able to go to the doctor to figure out what the dealio is. Thankfully I found some free clinics in our area that we will most likely check out if things don’t change soon. Fingers crossed that we will get answers soon.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this by the way? I'd be curious to know what happened and how you got through it.

LA

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